Attitude

My rabbit angrily thumped her foot.

“Excuse me young lady, don't use that tone of foot with me.”

Da Capo

“Don't repeat yourself. It's not only repetitive, it's redundant, and people have heard it before.”

-Lemony Snicket

Avocados and cats

“If you are allergic to a thing, it is best not to put that thing in your mouth, particularly if the thing is cats.”

-Lemony Snicket

BOGO

My older cousin complained that he was tasked with taking care of his younger siblings. His mother argues that he was supposed to help out.

“It doesn’t work that way!” he argued, “It’s not raise-one-get-two-free!”

Secret Keeping

I revealed to my significant other a secret about a habit of mine that only my mother knows the truth about.

“Well now that I know your dark secret, you have to marry me,” he says.

“Or you know…kill you. One of the two.”

Autobiographies

On set, a model mentions an imminent, long train trip with her mother.

“I don’t know how you’re going to do it,” one of us remarks. “I mean, I love my mother, but…”

We laugh.

“That’s the title of my book,” the model says. “‘I Love My Mother, But…’”

Grave matters

A lot of us fans of all-black clothing find that we used to--or still do--get asked this question when going out in our dark garb: whose funeral are you attending?

I have found that my best response to this is to look around me, then back at the person with a smile. 

"I haven't decided yet."

Chaos

A family comes to my holiday job, and we ask them for their child's name. 

"Chaos Diablo." 

California Heat

It is two days before Thanksgiving, and the weather has heated up from the past few days of 60-70 degrees Fahrenheit, to 90+ degrees Fahrenheit. 

"No need to go hunt down turkeys," my instructor says. "They're going to keel over themselves from the heat."

The English language

"American English is so complicated," my teacher tells us. "In British English, we say 'horse riding.' In American English, you say 'horseback riding' because apparently, Americans weren't sure which part of the horse you're supposed to ride." 

Priorities

Out on a movie date, and as the trailers play, we see a trailer for a movie about a serial killer. Once it's over, we turn to each other simultaneously and:

"That looks so creepy..." he says.

"That production looks so pretty!" I exclaim. 

We pause. 

"Sorry. Priorities," I mumble, to his amusement.

Juliet, No Romeo

Worked on a video project for a class recently and I can honestly say I have no idea what I'm doing. Ha! 

Big thank you to my dear Amabel Fang, Drew Grant, Charlie Sin, Brookes Treidler, and Jae Lee for all your participation, support, and love. This couldn't have been done without you!